{PREFACE: This is not a post about politics. I repeat: This is NOT a post about politics. So please do not make it so. In fact, should you try to do so, you’ll see real fast that you can’t pigeonhole this woman. I am as pro-life as they come. Actually, probably even more than they typically come. Pro-life for me = anti-war, anti-death-penalty, anti-guns, anti-abortion, pro-adoption, pro-healthcare. No, this is an honest and raw post about LIFE. About redemption. About hope. About how the fears we face today might not bring about the devastation we foresee but instead blessings we cannot even imagine. That being said, those who choose to make this post political will in fact be asked to leave this post. Thank you for your understanding.}

Dear Young Woman, Devastated and Afraid,

I know you. I know who you are. I know how it feels. I know exactly what you are thinking. Life as you know it—no matter what you decide—is forever changed. Forever altered. Because now, well, now there is a life growing inside of you. A LIFE. Dependent on you even as it is ever so tiny and completely unplanned. You want to rewind. You want to at least press pause. But you can’t. Because it happened. But this is not what you wanted. Not what you want. And now your happy-go-lucky world is spinning off its axis. You are in full-fledged crisis mode. Humiliated. Ashamed. Afraid. Devastated. You curl up in a fetal position—of all things—and soak your pillow with your tears. You dream of drifting into oblivion. But you can’t because This. Is. Real.

Exactly sixteen years ago, at the age of twenty and just one year away from graduating college, just one year away from my “dream wedding” and moving on to medical school to become the medical missionary I knew was in me, this was me. Spring break and home for a few days with my family and my longtime boyfriend, I discovered the worst news I could have never planned for my life. Bible study leader. Sold-out follower of Jesus. Youth group leader. And wannabe evangelist to many. All to hell now. Just two years earlier my senior classmates had voted me “Most Likely to Succeed,” and all I could think was that I was the first one to truly fail. Sheer shock. Devastation. Utter humiliation.

I had done all of the “right” things. I didn’t drink. (Still don’t.) Didn’t smoke. (Never have.) Didn’t fool around. Didn’t dress like a sleaze. Swore this would never be me. True Love was going to wait. I even had the Promise Ring to show it. Only it didn’t. We didn’t. And here we were, pastor’s daughter and prominent Christian music executive’s son, faced with the end of the world as we knew it. Dreams died in a moment of uncontrolled passion. Plans changed in a terrifying pronouncement on a plastic stick. We were pregnant.

And as a young woman who had never even stepped foot—much less any other body part—into the office of a gynecologist, I cried for three solid hours through my first exam, my first ultra-sound, my first blood test, my first baring of my body and my soul in ways I had never before.


And as I sobbed on the examining table with barely a God-forsaken starchy sheet to cover me in my shame, Dr. Wilson (who by the grace of God was one of the kindest, most empathetic, gentle professionals I could ever hope to meet in this situation) tried her very best to console me. “It’s going to be okay. You know, I’ve found that sometimes what we think is devastating actually ends up being a blessing.” Yes. I know. But this is me. I am not a LifeTime movie or 1980s after-school special. This. Is. My. Life.

And after hours of inconsolable sobs in her office, she asked the inevitable question: “I know this is not what you planned. If you are truly this devastated, have you thought of terminating?” The look of compassion on her face will forever be cemented in my mind. But NO. No way. Not me. Not another mistake in an attempt to “fix” my first. “Okay, I’m not suggesting. Only asking. I understand if you are philosophically opposed. No pressure. End of discussion.”

And on the thirty-minute drive home with my mom at the wheel, the sobs continued even as I had no tears left to cry. Devastation made way to numbness the more the reality set in. And in a moment of truly facing my reality, I considered the option that Dr. Wilson had put forth. Abortion. Such an awful, horrific word it had always been to me. Until this very moment. Until it was ME. Until it was MY life interrupted. MY heart writhing in pain. MY mind in a torrent of fear and shame and despair.

This could all be gone JUST.LIKE.THAT. After all, I was in Houston. And in that city of millions, there was no shortage of such providers. It could be done before I even returned back to college from spring break just days later. No friend, no roommate, no other family member would ever have to know. And in that single moment, my mom considered the same, “Well, are you thinking of that?” And I had to confess, that YES, yes I momentarily was. But NO. I can’t. It’s just not an option for me, even if it is.

Because despite what my doctor said, despite what my options were, I kept hearing my mom remind me that “only God can create life.” And I knew that this life in me—even if unplanned and right then entirely unwanted—was God-placed, God-created, and God-instilled with a plan, a purpose, a possibility. So I decided, with my changing body full of trepidation, to face this head-on. Hold up my head with hope even as my hands held my belly in shame. Do what has to be done. Get married soon. And start a life I had not planned.

weddingAnd so I did. We did. Just three months later, I—with my pregnant but hidden and ever-blossoming bosom and belly—walked down the aisle to Kirk and said I do in what was (sort of but not really) the wedding I always wanted. Of course, only a few knew. Not many had any idea.

But I felt like the whole world was talking. And it’s a fact that, eventually, some many were. It’s true that the rumor mills were working overtime. It’s not hidden on me the betrayal by some of the best of my friends. I felt the sting of every word of gossip. I felt the pain of every scornful glance. I felt the shame of everyone who secretly invited it down on me.

NewbornBranBut when just five months later, all nine pounds and one ounce of my bright- and blue-eyed, blonde-haired baby boy—Brandon Kirk Weimer—landed on my chest and into my life, all of the pain, the shame, the scorn, the regret melted away.  Just. Like. That. And while that sounds idealistic and quite simplistic, it really did.

And now, after nearly sixteen years of this most amazing life now in mine, I write to you, Dear Young Woman, Devastated and Afraid. Because there’s something you need to know. There’s something you need to hear from me, me—not the politicians or pastors or pundits, something that could possibly change your life forever even after you realize it has already changed forever.

It doesn’t matter what the politicians say. It doesn’t matter what your parents say. It doesn’t matter what your friend, your priest, your pastor, your doctor says. I know your rights as a woman in our society. 8monthsBKWAnd as a lifelong advocate of equality, I appreciate the sentiment of choice. I know what the picketing signs say. And I understand their stance, too. I know—as we mostly all agree no matter how our vote may fall—that to end that little heartbeat is to take a life prematurely. And I know what God says about that as the Originator of it all.

But I want you to know that in between the pro-choice and pro-life, the politicians and the picketers, the labels we too easily let fly but so foolishly and proudly wear, there’s something called HOPE. And this is not a hope that disappoints. A hope that could possibly let down. This is the hope that demolishes every bit of the fear and devastation. This is the hope and a promise of an amazing little life that grows into an amazing little person who becomes an amazing young man who will eventually emerge as an amazing grown-up all of his own.

Bran6yearsThis is the hope of fat, little toddler feet and first grade field trips. Of eight-year-old stinky boy sweat. Of twelve-year-old antics and fifteen-year-old adventures. Of talents emerging and gifts revealing. Of years of joy filled with moments of ecstasy. Of all of the hard work paying off. The decision you made to let LIFE live bringing blessings you could never have foreseen even as you tried to imagine them.

This is a real hope. And so Dear Young Woman, while you are devastated, terrified, and humiliated, I want you to know that those genuine emotions are truly only temporary, that the sorrow and shame won’t last forever. That weeping may last for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning. And that you will NEVER—not ever—look into the eyes of your unique, perfectly created, absolutely incredible child of your very own flesh and wish you had chosen another way. Wish that you had rejected this unsolicited gift.

And every year that passes from this moment of sheer despair will mark not memories of the initial fears and devastation, but rather anniversaries of the best thing that could have ever happened to you. Birthdays of the most beautiful blessing. And it will be worth saying NO forever to what seems like the most logical YES right now.2ndGradeBKW

Trust me. PLEASE trust me. Because I was—for a very real period of time—that same young woman as you, devastated and so very, very afraid.

And if there’s any story, any lesson from my life—no matter what boats I will rock and waves I will make—let it be this: God has time and time again taken the worst of times and turned them into the best.


My little world changer, 8 years old, with his future and hand-picked-himself brother and sisters.
See what I would have missed?

Seasons of devastation and heartache ease gently into seasons of joy and gratitude. That which should have destroyed me forever builds in me a strength and hope that could not otherwise logically co-exist in a heart so often weighted down with pain in a lifetime of very hard moments.


This boy, this child, this gift, this life, this GRACE…sigh. My heart swells. For he’s mine. Completely undeserved and absolutely unprepared for. But MINE.


Not a pawn to be politicized. Not a bulleted point on a political platform. Not a picture on a picketing sign or a singular part of a preacher’s three-part sermon. Just. Mine.




So Dear Young Woman, so devastated, so utterly ashamed and afraid, I just wanted you to know.

Heidi & Brandon

61 thoughts on “Dear Young Woman, Devastated and Afraid

  1. Sarah Holston

    Very beautifully and courageously written. I was also that girl and I thank God for my beautiful daughter who is now 24. I remember the thought passing through my mind that I could just “take care of it” and no one would ever know but then I remembered that I would always know and God would always know. I remembered that life is a precious gift and that this life belonged to God.

    So Thank you for opening up and sharing. I know how much that costs and how sometimes you share and then wonder if you should have but God is going to use this in a mighty way. I’m praying for your Dear Young Woman.


      1. Cathi D.

        Heidi, thanks for sharing your story. I think one of the most important aspects of your
        story that is missing in many others is that your mother was with you. So many young
        woman make the decision to have an abortion without evening talking with their mothers.
        Sadly these young girls feel so alone and make a decision that will appear to give them
        freedom at the moment but it will torment for the rest of their lives. Thank you for choosing
        to keep your son. God has a plan for each of us…. if we let Him.


  2. Teri

    Simply beautiful, thank you for sharing that. My mother was that girl, too, and I was the child. It really makes a difference.


  3. Frank

    I pray my daughters never find themselves in that place but if they do I hope they also find someone like you to speak truth to them. Thank you for sharing.


  4. Karen

    excellent post! we need more of this screamed from the mountain tops! thank you for transparency & truth.


  5. Shauna

    Very powerfully written! I too experienced something similar that ended up with miscarriage. Thank you for sharing! You have beautiful children!!


  6. Pam Rosas

    Wow! What a great blog piece! You really stepped out and said what needs to be said. It is not the end of the world if a girl gets pregnant. God can and does make all things new. He blesses us with very unexpected (and sometimes at the time unwanted) gifts. Heidi, I appreciate your honesty. Thank you!


  7. Nancy

    As your Mom, I have to say how proud I am of you. Both for your public revealing (in such a beautiful way) and more especially for that courageous decision you made 16 years ago. God taught me so much during that time: unconditional love, how to not be judgmental, and mostly how to trust Him. He taught me to stand proudly by my daughter and soon-to-be son-in-law as I knew others were talking and judging (esp since we were on staff at our church!). I love you, Heidi. I love you, Kirk. I love you, Little One (well TALL one now) who turned me into a Grammie for the first time. And Most of all, I love you, God, Who showed me what a gift and how precious every life is and that truly only You can and do give life – both physical and spiritual. Thank You for making this world a better place because of it.


  8. Becca

    So beautifully written. Praying for you as you deal with whatever attacks coming your way as a result of this (which I don’t understand apart from the fact you shared TRUTH of which we know the enemy hates more than anything) what an incredible testimony of His love, grace & mercy.


  9. Melanie @ M&M

    This is beautifully done, Heidi. The freedom that comes from speaking truth and the gift you are giving to so many who are hiding is immeasurable. You have opened doors for a lot of young women with this post. And the gift you and your son have given each other is immense.



  10. Charlene

    This is amazing. I was that girl as well. I found out I was pregnant with twins (I was 17) and I was so ashamed, so scared, so angry at myself… But abortion was NEVER an option for me. I realized that my actions led to the scenario, and therefore it is my responsibility to grow up and provide all that I can for them. Now, 6 months postpartum, I wouldn’t change a thing. They truly are little miracles, and I like to think that they saved both my life and their father’s. We were going down the wrong path quickly, but as soon as we found out we were having 2 little girls, everything changed. I’m so blessed to have them. 🙂 Thank you for writing this!!


    1. Lovelyn

      This is beautiful! Congratulations on your 2 little miracle girls. Our twin girls are 18 months. I know I don’t know you, but I’m really proud of you for your choice and to you & their dad at turning your life around. God sees you. May you be blessed over and over as you enjoy your babies & watch them grow. Blessings, Charlene!


    2. Heidi Weimer Post author

      I echo what Lovelyn said. And not to sound patronizing, but I am really proud of you for choosing LIFE, even if it was unplanned. Blessings on your babies as you raise them into wonderful little women.


  11. Laura

    Such power and beauty in your humble and raw words. I am weeping. And I’m honored to have loved you then and now. God breathed life and gave you such joy amidst your fear and had a purpose and a plan for you who love him, just As he promises. Love you, friend. Love or words and love your moms words. Way to be brave and help others with your story. I pray for those reading who only needed to hear.


  12. Marjorie

    Oh so beautiful, Heidi! Knowing you and Kirk at that time, I am so proud of how you dealt with it. I KNOW it was very difficult. Brandon is just a beautiful child. And who knew there would be 10 after him!? Just proof that God’s plans for our lives are so much better than anything we could ever imagine for ourselves. Thanks for sharing.


  13. Lovelyn

    Beautiful, Heidi. Thank you for sharing. Prayers that God would use to bring light and hope to many girls and prayers for your heart as the enemy loves to attack after we’ve been so vulnerable with truth!


  14. That Girl

    I was that girl, too. I was the “good girl.” Last semester of college. I chose the alternative. Unlike you, I will always regret my decision.
    If only my parents had exhibited unconditional love, I would have a son or daughter who would be 16 next month. If only I had been strong enough at that time to make the decision I truly desired…to hold my firstborn in my arms.
    BUT, what a view of forgiveness, redemption and unconditional love I have from my Heavenly Father! It speaks volumes to me and translates into my love for others, and my desire to adopt, and always have an open door for an unwed mom, or young single mom who needs a home.


    1. Heidi Weimer Post author

      Your comment was very humbling and brought tears to my eyes, because I know it could have easily been me. I am so glad you have found peace through God. Press on…


  15. Wendy

    This was an amazing story of redemption and restoration, the way ONLY God can make it happen. I know your life is anything but a fairy tale–let me reiterate, I KNOW–in spite of God’s incredible blessing, provision and moving in and through your family. I also have no doubt that the Lord Himself put every word of this story on your heart not just for one, but for many to find guidance and hope.
    My concern is that, as your story states, at the time of this crisis you were a woman of privilege and resource: Educated, two supportive families, a partner who loved you and GOD enough to put His will and His plan first . . . This, however, is not everyone’s story or situation, and my prayer is that your faithful readers use it gently and prayerfully, and not to bludgeon someone for whom circumstances may be different.


    1. Momofdaughters

      Thank you for stating this. That was my only uncomfortable feeling within this story. I see the other side at work and it can be a nightmare noone would ever want to experience. Please allow refuge for those who seek it. Do not judge choices of those who may chose differently.


    2. Heidi Weimer Post author

      Hi, Wendy- You are right. This is definitely not everyone’s story or situation. It is, however, mine. That being said, as a woman of “privilege” (though my parents really did not have much means, so that is an assumption—Actually, Kirk and I were below poverty-level the first two years of our marriage) and education, I had that much more to lose. And, I could have afforded the abortion should I had chosen to pursue that option. From what I have seen so far, my readers are certainly rallying around life, while understanding that no two situations are exactly the same. But that’s not the point. The bottom line is that choosing life—no matter the circumstances—is worth it.


      1. Wendy

        Heidi, for the sake of the one or two people who may follow this conversation, I want to state that this is not a challenge (as I know you’re aware, but anyone else may not be). Just my observations on a topic I find to be the most anguishing around. And I don’t believe God has a “pat” answer for this. I don’t think God has a freak-out moment when someone has an abortion, lamenting that he had a “plan for that life!” beyond eternity with Him; He’s surprised by nothing. Though many of my sisters and brothers in Christ would disagree with me here.
        I am in total agreement that you had that much more to lose by virtue of the opportunities available to you. My greater concern is for the *children* of those who come from less privilege and fewer resources. The support network surrounding your children is an almost unimaginable blessing, and exactly what God planned, but NOT what God always provides. And we need only look around to see the lifelong, heartbreaking circumstances of so many born into adverse circumstances. For every redemptive “miracle story” there are hundreds of thousands of tragedies with no redemption.
        And my objective is not to offer advice, judgment or disagreement; again, just my own observations of how complicated life is in a tragically fallen world.
        And praise Jesus for when, as in your beautiful story, redemption does occur, and perpetuates . . .


        1. Heidi Weimer Post author

          I wholeheartedly agree. It’s actually going to be the follow-up focus of my next blog post. Because if we want to say we’re pro-life, we have to be ready to actually step up and support life, especially in situations we might not agree with and in circumstances that are less than ideal. Thanks for your input here.


          1. Wendy

            Heidi says: “Because if we want to say we’re pro-life, we have to be ready to actually step up and support life, especially in situations we might not agree with and in circumstances that are less than ideal.”

            A-FREAKING-MEN, Sister!

        2. Dave Schlack

          One chooses what is just, irregardless of the outcome….blessing or tragedy, come what may.
          When you put the mother next to the fetus and compare their situations it all boils down to this – no matter how hard the choice for the mother is, nothing is harder than for someone else to choose that you must die.


        3. Bonnie

          I was 19 and newly married when I got pregnant. My abusive husband was horrified at the idea of the baby keeping me from finishing college, and told me I had to abort, or he would make my life hell. My life was hell for the next 19 years, until I finally left…but to this day, my ex thanks me for being strong enough to stand up to him on that one. Our daughter is the best thing that ever happened to him. She is still the best thing in my life as well, worth every stess-filled moment. She has forgiven her dad for his initial fears, and she is thankful for her less than perfect life.
          My second husband also had a child way to young. He and his girlfriend chose adoption. Gave the gift of life to another family. Last year, his son contacted him just a week before his birthday specifically to thank him for choosing life.
          Yes, every story is different. But death by dismemberment is never better than life. That is why now that we have the means, we support our two local pregnancy centers through our volunteer work and money. These places offers all of their services free of charge, and when the women first walk in they look like the weight of the world is on their shoulder. They walk out that first day with the smallest glimmer of hope and by the time the baby comes, they have so much joy and pride as they add their babies photo to the baby wall.


  16. Bobi Bobbitt

    Thank you so much for writing this. Your situation is unbelievably similar to mine. I was that same girl. The girl who wore Pro Life tshirts to school and then at 18 found myself pregnant and devastated. That was 15 years ago and my handsome son sits beside me as I type this! I cannot imagine my life without him. Thank you thank you!!!!!!


  17. Momofdaughters

    I read your story and i apologize if i offend you but i am just curious is abortion an option for a child who is raped? I work at a childrens hospital and unfortunately i see things daily that shake the foundation of faith i have. You seemed so upset you were pregnant i thought originally you had been raped but then to read it was someone you cared for and you consented to i was relieved and pleased. Life is the most amazing gift you can create whether married or not. I am happy you experienced a youthful motherhood i did as well (19yrs old) But now many years later,married, and a mother of many girls I wonder what your thoughts on abortion are if a child is raped. I am a christian woman and i am searching for the answer to this scenerio. For what i see daily one could never imagine in a lifetime. Does a child, teen, young woman have options within our faith if a horrific circumstance presents itself? That isnt God’s work right? It’s the devil?


    1. Jaxta

      I think the question is “Does abortion heal the physical and emotional wounds of rape? Abortion is deeply damaging to women (especially the very young) in many ways. There is an excellent book called “Victims and Victors” which tells the stories of many women who have become pregnant through rape. Some of them had their babies others did not. Many of those who aborted spoke bravely about their abortions as another trauma inflicted on them after an already deeply traumatic experience. As regards very young women who experience sexual abuse, abortion only helps the perpetrator by hiding his criminal behaviour. It enables him to continue the abuse. While his victim is left humiliated and ashamed from the abuse and traumatised after her abortion. There is an interesting website called “Conceived in Rape” (Rebecca Kiessling) – I hope this helps.


      1. Heidi Weimer Post author

        Thank you, “Momofdaughters” for your question, and thank you, Jaxta, for your response. I have no easy answers to abortion in the incident of rape. I know it is not anywhere near the most common reason for abortion, so it’s not something most of us will ever have to even consider. However, it IS something that Kirk and I have talked about as parents to teenage daughters. Would I force my 14-year-old daughter to carry the child of her rapist? I don’t know. And while abortion compounds the tragedy of rape, pregnancy and childbirth at that age would no doubt be traumatic as well. I don’t know the easy answers, and I don’t think there are any. I just know that that child still matters to God, and that adoption (should the girl/woman not want to keep the reminder of rape) is still a wonderful and God-blessed option. That being said, perhaps a child coming from such a horrific scenario would be God’s way of bringing beauty from ashes. I don’t know. No simple answers. Only complexities. And as Christians we need to learn to be comfortable in the unknowns and complexities. Too often we want simple fixes and easy answers. But life is not that black and white. And it’s okay to wrestle.


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  20. Wendy Stephenson

    Thank you for sharing that, Heidi. That was beautiful. I faced the choice of abortion as well. A very different scene, however, because I was married and my pregnancy came from an affair. But this girl who was SO AGAINST abortion, ACTUALLY CONSIDERED IT. And THANK GOD I didn’t do it. THANK GOD that His voice won, and that I decided to deal with the shame – because had I not, I wouldn’t have the beautiful 10 year old son that I have now, and my life would be forever incomplete. I’m not quite the writer that you are, but here’s my story:


  21. A mom

    I was that girl too! I was 17 and in my senior year of high school at an all girl catholic school. I had the appointment to end my pregnancy. I don’t know if it was courage or fear that made me a no show that day, but I can only thank God that I chose not to go through with it. I was fortunate to have parents and a boyfriend (now husband) that stood by me. It has not always been easy, but it has been the perfect life for us. Thank you for sharing your story!


    1. Heidi Weimer Post author

      “It has not always been easy, but it has been the perfect life for us.” Yes. I get it. And just typing that gave me chills. Thanks for sharing your story with me/us.


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  22. Mary-Joye

    Wonderful testimony of a great pro-life choice.
    Thanks so much for sharing your wonderful story.

    I too have a daughter who got pregnant just before her final year of studies to become a teacher.
    She too got married in her final year. Had the most handsome son any grand-parent could wish for. He will be turning 16yrs in April and is an absolute star in school and on the sportsfield. Just couldn’t imagine life without is wonderful young man.
    He has a sister who has just turned 11yrs.

    I am a volunteer worker at the Pregnancy Crisis Centre here in Newcastle, South Africa.
    We have a house and housemother.
    The Lord has really blessed this ministry in financial and material needs

    Take care dear friend in Christ


  23. Waiting Adoptive Mother

    I love your story and I’m grateful that you shared it. I think it is wonderful that you were surrounded by a supportive family that showed you grace and unconditional love.

    As a Christian woman waiting for a birth mother to select our family, I am disappointed that adoption is not part of this conversation. There are more choices than parenting your child or terminating your pregnancy. There are so many families struggling with infertility who are praying daily for the blessing of a child, mine included. A woman with an unplanned pregnancy might not have the resources or support system to provide the environment that she would want for her child. She can make a parenting plan for her child by selecting the adoptive family and being part of an open adoption miracle. Feel free to take a look at our profile page: http://www.iheartadoption.org/users/toomeyfamilync.


    1. Heidi Weimer Post author

      Hi, thanks for your comment. If you read more of my story, you will see that adoption is an enormous part of who I am and what I stand for. This post, however, was not aimed at adoption. This post was specifically about my personal experience of an unplanned pregnancy, encouraging young moms to choose LIFE and, yes, keep their baby if possible, as it is worth it. I will be writing a follow-up soon that will address ways we can support LIFE besides what I have touched on here. And, if I am honest, as much as I support adoption (7 of my own 11 kids were adopted!), I do want birth moms to choose to keep their biological child if at all possible. A girl who is 16 might need a lot of support to take care of her newborn baby, but she won’t need as much as 20-year-old raising a 4-year-old. I don’t want to see girls or young women rush in to make lifelong decisions without thinking long and hard about it, whether they choose adoption, abortion, or keeping the baby.


      1. Waiting Adoptive Mother

        Hi Heidi, thank you for responding to me. I am truly grateful that you shared your story and the encouragement of hope (beyond the initial shock of an unplanned pregnancy) that you can shed in the lives of young women. I thought your story was complete would not have expected you to mention adoption in your original post.

        My disappointment was in the conversation that followed as I read with anticipation for someone to share an adoption experience or offer adoption as an abortion alternative. One of the reasons my husband and I chose the agency we are working with is because of their absolute respect and support of girls and young women experiencing an unplanned pregnancy, they truly counsel women to make the best decision for them and their baby with no pressure or agenda. For us, this was essential as our family also experienced an unplanned pregnancy when my older sister had her first child at age 17. For my sister parenting her son along with the support of her family was the best decision and I would never have wanted her, nor do I want the birth mother of our child to be unduly pressured into making the wrong decision for her.

        I truly believe that God weaves all the facets of our lives together to create a beautiful message to bring Him glory. Thank you for using all the facets of your life to do just that!


      2. Sonya

        I was 21 and in my first semester of college… Having made a conscious decision to walk in the world and separate myself from a God that I totally believed in but no longer wanted to follow. Abortion was not one of my “Christian” beliefs but one of science and common sense. Humans give birth to humans therefore an unborn child is human. I had always told everyone who would listen that abortion was murder. Many replied that I only said that because it hadn’t happened to me. Now it had. I stood firm in my belief but was still scared and alone. I did initially choose adoption. Oddly enough I found picked a Christian agency. Their divorce rate was extremely low. After all, if I couldn’t offer my baby a two parent home I wanted to do all I could to make sure he had one. (That was something I didn’t have) I did picked a couple. But two weeks before he was born I changed my mind. I knew it would be hard but the pain of losing “my buddy” was becoming all to real. As hard as I tried I couldn’t separate my feelings for him. On Mothers Day one of my co-workers wished me a Happy Mothers Day. I snapped back and said “I’m not a mother! He isn’t mine”! And I cried! I was living with a Christian couple who had opened their home to me when they found out I was pregnant and living in my car. They were pregnant with their first baby too. Their kindness and the unborn life within me drew me back to my Heavenly Father! He had been there waiting for me all along. He is so patient! My son will be 21 in July and is in his third year in college. He is one of my best friends. Did I struggle? Yes! Did we fight when he was a teenager? Oh my goodness yes! Did he/ does he make some dumb mistakes despite my advise and direction…well unfortunately yes. But he couldn’t do anything that would change my love for him! I will love him forever and like him for always:)! I did later get married and have six more children. But this story was about the one God gave me when I was alone and scared….the one that brought me back to my true love!


  24. Rebecca

    A friend shared this on Facebook, and my curiosity got the best of me…and I’m thankful it did. Thank you for writing this! It was beautifully written and it helps ease some of my guilt. I too had an unplanned pregnancy and I too considered abortion because I wasn’t married, had a minimum wage job and I was afraid of what people in this small town that I grew up in would think. I was raised in church, went on mission trips, did fundraisers with my youth group…I was known as a “good girl.” After I graduated high school, I went very far off of God’s path and was doing things that I shouldn’t have been doing (nothing illegal…just stupid). I didn’t love the biological father of my child, but lo and behold, December 2007 I find out I was pregnant (thinking I had the flu at first). I took several pregnancy tests to convince myself that I really and truly had a tiny life growing inside me. I hid it from my grandma (who raised me). Her disappoint me stung, but I deserved it. She and my family gave me awesome support throughout my pregnancy. Now 5 years, almost 6 years, I am the proud mother of a incredibly beautiful, sweet, thoughtful, and God loving Kindergartner who is at the top of her class. I knew the moment I gave birth to her that I needed to change for her. I tell people she’s my unplanned blessing because that is was she is. I am so thankful that God tapped me on the shoulder in my moment of doubt and changed my mind about considering abortion. I’m so thankful I’m not alone in that sense. Again, thank you for your beautiful words of wisdom and God Bless you and your family!


    1. Heidi Weimer Post author

      Thank you for your comment! I am so encouraged to hear these stories. I don’t get chills easily or too often, but I am covered in them lately. I am so thankful for your sweet little girl being in your life! Blessings back at ya!


  25. Seth

    As you look back, what was it, do you think, that ultimately led to you rejecting the voices of abortion in your head? What influences or voices of encouragement made choosing abortion so impossible?


    1. Heidi Weimer Post author

      I knew I’d regret it. I knew that later in life when I had more kids, I’d always mourn this child that I wouldn’t have known. I knew it wasn’t the right thing. And I had always tried to do the right thing. And, ultimately, I knew that I could do hard things. Maybe that’s what we need to be telling our daughters and sons, that sometimes doing the hard thing is saying NO in the first place. And sometimes doing the hard thing is making the right choice even after we’ve made a mistake. We can’t be afraid to do hard things, and I think we’ve forgotten in our society of ease how to do the hard things.

      Good question. I’ll have to think on that some more.


  26. Ed

    Thanks so much for your story, Heidi. My mother at an advanced age was faced with the medical advice to abort her unexpected pregnancy due to her terminal illness. Her doctors advised her that her child would/could be gravely ill.

    She said no and gave birth. The child was fine. But she died two months later.

    How can anyone fully appreciate the courage of this woman suffering so much as she carried this little one knowing that she would not live to see her child grow up with her others?

    The child grew up, was educated and got a good degree from a prestigious university, and good job and the Catholic faith.

    And now has two young children of his own. With his beautiful wife they have seen the miracle of life given a chance to live. That child was me. And I learned this this past year. I can’t think of my mother – whom I never knew – as anything other than a saint. Deo gracias. I share this in the hope this might inspire others and in memory of my mum. God bless


  27. Karen

    Thank you for sharing your amazing story. I too was that girl. I am very thankful I had already graduated from college but nonetheless, I was still single and very scared. I did not end up marrying my child’s father (which was a good thing) but God brought to me a wonderful man who became my son’s dad. Now for the beauty from ashes, I have a physical disability and am not able to have any more children. God knew this 24 years ago and blessed me with the most precious gift of all. God Bless


  28. Betty

    I was that girl 38 years ago.Now my daughter is 37.The day she was born I thanked God for her and still do.


  29. Pingback: Dear Young Woman, Devastated and Afraid {Annual Repost} ‹ Out of She Mind / heidi weimer

  30. marilynn huff

    But if he had not married you, it would not have made a difference right? Had you not been close with him and had he not wanted to marry you, you would still have had your son and just been his mother right? You would not have made your capability or value as his mother soley dependent upon whether or not your then boyfriend was willing to marry you right? You would not just have handed your son to total strangers just because you would have been two parents doing your job but unmarried Right? Marriage is not the thing that made you know that having and raising your son was the right thing to do correct. Its so important that people know they are the ONLY right parents for the children they put on this earth whether they are rich or poor married or single they are the ONLY parents their children need or deserve. Everyone else is just a caregiver doing the job of an absent parent and while that’s important, its not the same as actually being a parent not to the child most of all they’ll always still expect that when their parent can take care of them, they should. And anyone who would stand in your way of caring for your child whether it was right away or 10 years down the line would be selfish wrong and not a kind person.


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