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[Edited 4/23/16 to add a note from a friend who is the mom of a transgendered child:
“Just by way of education, I would like to share with you that “transgenders” and “transgendered” are terms that the community doesn’t use. In the same way autistic kids wouldn’t be called ‘autistics’ or people with Down Syndrome wouldn’t be ‘Down Syndromed.’ For trans people it feels like they are diminished to and defined by that one aspect of who they are. Trans or transgender people/men/women/children/youth is the phrasing that is preferred.” Thank you, friend, for helping to educate the public. Language matters.


{This week Target announced it would allow all of its employees and customers to use the public restroom of whichever gender they identify with. And then my Facebook exploded and suddenly suburban moms everywhere are publicly pretending that shopping at Wal-Mart is morally superior and just as relaxing. (Y’all, that’s laughable in every way thinkable.) So then I wrote a comment on a Facebook post, but that got too long, so I turned it into an actual Facebook post, but that got too long, so I turned it into this. Which is why you’re here reading this instead of on my Facebook page posting smiley faces or debating gender issues with me. So shall we?}

 

Listen. I get trying to be safe. I get not wanting harm to come to your kid just because you were in Target and they really had to go. Because as we and Annie all know, when you gotta go, you gotta go. Especially when you’re five years old. But last time I had a five-year-old (oh, I mean like now), I didn’t let him run into a public bathroom by himself anyway (he can’t even reach the paper towels, y’know), so I’m feeling like it’s all a little irrelevant because we DON’T SEND OUR HELPLESS LITTLE ONES INTO PUBLIC BATHROOMS ANYWAY). But that’s beside the point. I guess.

target
Because the REAL thing is, the real thing is this: All of this hype and fear and hysteria…It really comes down to the discomfort and “ew” factor we at large feel about men dressing as women. Let’s be honest with ourselves. Let’s be real with each other. Because unless we’re transgender ourselves, we just can’t relate to it nor imagine it. And it might even (probably even?) feels a bit gross to us. Maybe it feels a bit perverted. Maybe we just can’t wrap our heads around it. Because maybe we’re not transgender. But it’s situations like these that I allow myself to be stretched. To have my knee-jerk reactions kept in check. To listen to the voices of those whom I rarely hear in my little suburban bubble. Because I don’t want to live in fear. I don’t want to misunderstand or not understand at all. I don’t want to be like the masses all riled up in widespread panic about something we just don’t get. That I don’t get. I don’t want to have emotional reactions where I don’t need to.
 
Bottom line, we’re freaking out because we don’t get it. (And isn’t that so typical of us humans?) And so we do what we always do when we don’t get it and can’t relate: We get publicly outraged about issues that truly didn’t bother us a day or week ago. Issues that we didn’t even know about or give two seconds of thought to before we heard it on the news or talk radio or on Facebook. Before our pastor or our friend or our mother-in-law tsk-tsk’d about it. Before a loud-mouthed politician screamed about people different from us. Before someone told us to BE AFRAID. BE VERY, VERY AFRAID.
 
But the truth is, whether you want to believe it or not, transgender persons have existed for longer than there have been public bathrooms. They’ve been around since, well, genitalia and culture and gender identities and all that human complexity have been around. SO LIKE FOREVER. But very few knew and no one cared. And your kids didn’t get raped by men dressed like women in the bathroom at your favorite retailer. Because if they did? It would be ALL THE NEWS and ALL THE FACEBOOK POSTS.
 
No, they got raped on dates with boyfriends who wouldn’t accept the word NO. They got molested by drunk uncles at family reunions. They were violated by coaches you trusted. They were molested at church by Sunday school teachers. Groped by siblings under the threat of secrecy. Assaulted by family friends.
 
But acknowledging all of THAT is terrifying. It means that our kids are actually less safe than we are comfortable with. That’s the real truth. We can’t actually protect them like we want to. Our safeguards are only as safe as the temptation to do evil is in a perpetrator. And that bothers us. And maybe we haven’t even thought about it consciously, but it at least sits there in the backalleys of our subconscious. For those of us who found our own selves victimized by perpetrators, maybe it triggers fears that we deep down don’t want to deal with while all the same we really do.
 
So we invoke an age-old tactic when we don’t want to confront the fears within us. We project. We scapegoat. We convince ourselves that the transgender community or gays or Muslims or Mexicans or whoever the current enemy-du-jour might be, we tell ourselves that they’re the real threat. We listen to obnoxious wannabes with lots of money and too many microphones and really bad hair. We believe what someone we knew in high school says on Facebook because they believed what someone they knew in middle school said…on Facebook. And if we could just get rid of that threat—those threats—our kids would be safe. Finally. Whew.
 
Except they’re not. It’s not that easy. If it were, we could just eliminate “transgenders” and “gays” and all would be roses and rainbows again. (Oh, wait. Not the rainbows. Rainbows = bad. My bad.)
 
But I, for one, am tired of the media and politicians and hyped up fearmongers telling me whom to fear, whom to keep my kids from, what to be afraid of, where to shop and not to shop. Whether they be transgender persons or Muslims or gays or atheists or (sorry, my fellow homeschoolers) the public schools (gasp!). I just won’t do it. I REFUSE TO OBEY YOUR OWN FEAR.
 
I am an intelligent woman. I get dressed on my own. I choose my own hair color. (I choose many of them, actually.) I decide when I will go back to school. I get to pick whether I will stay home or go to work. I decide if I want drive-thru or made-from scratch at home. I choose where to worship. How to vote. What to believe. And how to live my life and raise my own kids. I do things of my own volition. And so do you. Which means, I can decide whom and what to fear…all on my own. And you can too.
 
And even then…I will not choose fear. I WILL NOT DO IT. And you can’t make me.
 
Yes, duh, I will try to protect my kids in rational, realistic, and responsible ways. And no, duh, I will not be blindly stupid nor stupidly blind. I will be wise. I will be calm. I will be intelligent. And that means not reacting to hype and cooperating with hysteria. History proves that is rarely the wise option. Can I get a witness?
 
So care to join me or care to not. What you do is up to YOU. But as for me and my family, we’re going to choose calm. We will not give in to your fears.
 
Now if you are REALLY wanting to get riled up, because, y’know, innocent children and all that upsets you, let me point to you some REAL threats affecting kids RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE:

 

1) Hundreds of Ethiopian Kids Kidnapped in Raid

2) Children Killed by Gun Violence in the United States

3) How Pornography Addiction Affects the Teenage Brain

4) How Make Your Mark Ministries is Changing the Lives of Street Boys —kids who are actually raped every night. I know, because I’ve met them. On the street. In the middle of the night.

5) Children Found Sewing Clothes for you to buy from…Wal-Mart (oops)

6) How You Can Help Combat Human Trafficking —It’s happening in your backyard. In the dollar store. In place, like, you know, Target.

Of course, those are just a few. Six of a slew of threats against our children. Six actual issues actually taking place in our actual neighborhoods or actual cities or even just a hop across the ocean. But these are actual, real things actually really happening like FOR REAL. These aren’t imagined. They’re certainly not made much of by the media. But they’re REAL nonetheless. Maybe even moreso. Did I mention they’re actually real?
Whatcha gonna do?
So you care about your kids. Great. You care about children. Wonderful. Now stop obeying someone else’s fears and go do something about kids living in real fear.
Go back to your retail therapy at Target. Go grab your red plastic cart. Pick up your Starbucks. Use the bathroom if you need to pee because that whatever-mocha-latte-frappacino-whatever-you-call-it-I-don’t-know-because-I-don’t-drink-coffee runs right through you. You know you can’t stay away, anyway. It’s TARGET, after all. And not even your very best friend believes you when you say you’re boycotting that place.
targetbasket
And the next time you feel that all-too-human knee-jerk reaction rising up inside your fear-prone body, STOP IT RIGHT THERE. Set a better example for your kids. Set a better standard for yourself. Speak out against it even.
Back right on up out of that faux firestorm. Don’t contribute to the panic. There’s enough to fear in this world. Enough to really get angry about and do something about. Don’t manufacture reasons to be afraid, and FOR! THE! LOVE! don’t EVER submit to anyone else’s urgings on why you should be.
You with me?
Whew. It’s Friday. And now I really need to go to Target.
(And I might even have to pee there.)
targetball

My cutie at age 3. He probably had to pee there. He probably DID pee there. And there might or might not have been a transgender person in the stall next to us. I DON’T KNOW. And that’s the point.

 Note from my friend Aimee:
“…While you are spot on that people are reacting out of disgust to the idea of men dressing up as women, the transgendered people I’ve met see this as a totally different thing. There are men and women who dress in alternate gendered clothing. And there are men and women who understand themselves to be alternately gendered. I know you know this, but others reading your post may not. Not trying to needless parse wording, but this seems an important distinction to my transgendered friends.”
Thank you, Aimee, for clarifying this for all my readers.

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36 thoughts on “Transgender Persons, Target, Faux Firestorms & Manufactured Fears

  1. Rachel

    THANK YOU!!! You expressed exactly how I feel about all of this! <3 I am sharing this with everyone I know! <3

    Reply

  2. Kristin

    I don’t agree. I don’t feel this way just for my 10 year old daughter who does use the restroom herself. I feel 5his way for me. I’m sorry but I would feel very uncomfortable having a man ( dressed as a woman or not ) being in the restroom with me. Just like a man would most likely be uncomfortable with a woman being in the restroom with them. I don’t even let my husband in the bathroom at home when I’m in there and we’ve seen each other naked! Most of this does not have to do with just our children. They just happens to be a factor in this crazy situation.

    Reply

    1. amanda

      I don’t think men will mind a woman, or a trans next to them in the bathroom. For the most part. Some men will because they have decided it is wrong. I don’t mind a man in the bathroom next to me either, trans or not. We won’t know if someone is a man if they look like a woman. I am able to easily go into the men’s bathroom. I do it when the women’s is full because if I need to pee, I need to pee. I mostly get funny smiles, like really honey?? You could not wait in your own line?? But they don’t care and they are not mean to me. My kids do go to the bathroom alone now, and do I worry about my little 13 year old girl? Yes. but no more than I do when she is anywhere without me, because someone can always hurt her. All I can do is supervise and do my best.

      Reply

    2. Shell

      Hahahahahaha!! You’ve been peeing next to transgendered folks for years, you just don’t know it!! And nor should you!! The general public does not need to know what’s inside anyone’s underpants, including yours!! Would you be more comfortable peeing next to a woman, who identifies as a man, appears as a man & is dressed in mans clothing, BUT because he has girl parts YOU CAN’T see (and don’t need to be seeing), he feels forced into using the ladies room!!??? I think not!!! You’d take one look at ‘him’ & think “what the hell is that guy doing in the ladies room!!”. Be careful what you fear, next step will be gender checks for EVERYONE entering a public restroom! Is that what you want? For you & your kids to be felt up in order to make sure your using the properly gendered restroom?!? That’s a more horrifying thought to me then my transgendered friends using whatever the hell restroom they associate with!!!!

      Reply

  3. Lisa

    It’s not about being afraid of a trangendered person. It’s about a man pretending to be transgendered in order to get into the women’s bathroom for a bad reason. If any man can say I want to use the women’s bathroom whether they are dressed like a trangender or not (and they could be dressed like a woman and not be), that makes a woman uncomfortable, especially if they or their 12 year old daughter are in there alone. I am not fearful of trangendered people.

    Reply

    1. Karen

      …but don’t you get it, Lisa? They could already be doing this. We’re only scared now because someone just told us that it’s the threat du jour.

      Reply

      1. judith sims

        Some transgendered men can pass for women, some can not. Of the half dozen transgendered women I’ve met over the years, all were identifiable as biologically-born men from things like the brow bone, larger hands, and adam’s apple. I agree with Lisa. I am not afraid of transgendered people, I’m upset that women’s safety could be compromised by predators who could dress up and use restrooms unchallenged. Could they be doing it already? Not so much. Men look different from women. We need unisex, single person restrooms.

        Reply

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  4. Lisa

    It’s not about being afraid of a transgender person. It’s about a man who pretends to be transgender and is really not just to get in the women’s bathroom. I am uncomfortable with a man being able to easily walk into the women’s bathroom while myself or my 12 year old daughter are in there. I am not afraid of transgender people.

    Reply

    1. Angelina

      I think if a man with bad intentions wants to enter a woman’s bathroom he doesn’t have to bother getting dressed up for it. He can (and probably would) just sneak in. Why bother with the extra trouble?

      Reply

  5. Wanda Sue Bailey

    What about fathers who bring their 5 year old daughter
    into a store and she needs to use the bathroom. He cannot take her in his and she cannot take him in hers. How is this solved?

    Reply

  6. Tamie

    I don’t think that you are anymore at risk of a non-trans man dressing as a woman to get into the bathroom to hurt you. I don’t think that men that would hurt you are all going to start dressing as women because they think it will be easier. It’s still a public restroom, people go in and out all the time, it certainly doesn’t seem like the kind of place that abusive men are going to start targeting, I think that they will still choose places that they are less likely to be caught. Good heavens screaming kicking at things everyone outside the bathroom could hear that. All the same rules still apply, if your not comfortable don’t go alone. If you feel uncomfortable someplace then you should leave.

    Reply

  7. Mark Petrey

    In typical liberal fashion you have dismissed our fears as “manufactured”. You’ve used the tried and true playbook. If we don’t agree with you, then we’re “phobic” … homophobic … Islamabhobic … now we’re “transphobic”.

    That’s your best argument? Let me get this straight; We don’t want middle-aged men in a dresses, with penises, using the same bathroom as our wives and teenage daughters, because we fear transgenders? The “ew’ factor?

    Give me a break! We don’t fear transgenders. We do fear the guy posing as a transgender. These new laws give any pervert, voyeur, or sexual predator the right to hang out in the ladies’ room as long as they say the identify as a woman. How do we know if a guy truly identifies as a woman? Will you please answer me that?? Is there a test? Is there a secret handshake? Please don’t use that condescending tone and tell us we have nothing to fear. It’s already happening and you’ve failed to address it.

    You’ve focused your attention on the backlash against Target. You say that transgender have been around for a long time. What does that have to do with anything? So have child molesters. Should we cut them some slack? Target has “family restrooms”. They’re private. Why can’t transgenders just use them? Why does Target insist on putting women at risk when it’s unnecessary? So they can count themselves as inclusive? That’s the basis of the entire policy. A feel-good move with no regard for the ramifications. Sounds like a real war on women to me.

    Your other rationale is; well kids get molested by their uncles, or coaches, or Sunday School teachers – people they should trust. So, by that brilliant logic, you infer they’re probably safer in the restroom with a strange man in a dress? Instead of making it more difficult for sexual predators, let’s just tear down any impediment to their sexual deviations. But, gosh dangit – We’re inclusive!!

    This isn’t just about restrooms. That’s just the tip of the iceberg. These laws allow men to use women’s locker rooms, and changing rooms. Public pools, girl’s gym locker rooms, fitness club locker rooms and department store changing rooms are all fair game.

    So please, when you send your daughters to the public pool and a man, who identifies as a women, is walking around with his junk hanging out, tell me it’s a faux firestorm.

    Reply

    1. molly

      Dearest faux firestorm,
      “So please, when you send your daughters to the public pool and a man, who identifies as a women, is walking around with his junk hanging out, tell me it’s a faux firestorm.”

      I think you mean “woman”. Indecent exposure is still illegal. I’m pretty sure this new law taking effect would not negate the indecent exposure law. Just because someone identifies as a woman doesn’t mean SHE is ignorant of the law. We are all living in the same world. Transgender doesn’t mean born today. Transgender doesn’t mean above the law. ??

      And the guy dressed as a woman who is hanging out in the women’s bathroom… He doesn’t need a new law to do that. He’s just less likely to get caught with the new law. Why would anyone do that anyway?? To experience a longer bathroom line? Women aren’t walking around half naked in the bathroom.. there’s nothing exciting going on in there.

      Family bathrooms are for people with kids! They are a haven. Just fyi. They aren’t a place to shove someone away for your “protection”, lol. They aren’t a place to send others who make you nervous, lol. I’m pretty sure most people who identity as transgender aren’t in need of more bathroom space & a changing table…..

      How nervous transgender people must make you. Can you imagine how nervous you must make them???

      Reply

      1. Mark Petrey

        No, I mean a man, who’s claiming to be woman. Just saying you’re a woman doesn’t make it so – anymore than me saying I’m a dog makes it so.

        You state that family restrooms are “havens”. Well, so are women’s restrooms. Transgenders can use the family restroom – no questions asked. They’re private, lockable and discreet. How is that discrimination? They were created for protection…. for the mother shopping with a young son that doesn’t want to send him into the men’s room alone.

        These new laws have no provision for indecent exposure. They’re broad and ambiguous. There are already cases of men changing in women’s locker rooms and exposing themselves. In one instance, at a fitness club, a lady complained about a man taking off his clothes in the woman’s locker room, and her membership was revoked. What about her rights?

        I own a company that employees a lot of women. I’ve spoken to all of them on this issue. Not one is happy about it.

        I have no fear of transgenders. I don’t care how anyone “identifies”. I believe in freedom and as long as someone’s actions don’t infringe on my freedom or safety, they can do whatever floats their boat. What does frighten me is when the government passes laws that give certain groups special rights that supersede the rights of others. I’m done commenting on this. I’ve said my peace. Everyone’s got a right to their opinion. I’m sure my comments won’t change anyone’s mind.

        Reply

        1. Brandon W

          Mark, transgenders have been around for a long time. Men have been able to dress up as a woman and go into a women’s bathroom long before Target publicly announced that people are able to go into the bathroom of the gender that they identify with.

          If anything, now more awareness has been brought to people who have a fear of a male dressing up as a woman and walking into a women’s bathroom.

          If you had a daughter that identified as a man as she grew up and took testosterone injections to look like a man when she became an adult, you would want her (him) to be forced to (uncomfortably) go to the women’s bathroom to pee?

          You have to think about the rights of transgenders, how do they feel? A person born as a female that turned into a male because that is the gender they identify with, they have the full right to go into a men’s restroom, just as a man that turned into a woman would go into a women’s bathroom.

          Sexual predators will be sexual predators, regardless of if they’re able to dress up as a woman and go into a women’s bathroom or not.

          This is not the same as giving a serial-killer full rights to an automatic weapon.

          Sexual predators have been able to dress up as a woman and walk in the women’s restroom LONG BEFORE Target made a public statement on this issue.

          There is no identification system to get into a public restroom. There is no thumbprint required to walk in.
          YOU JUST WALK IN.
          Sexual predators with bad intentions will walk in (and have walked in), regardless.

          In fact, I believe this brings more awareness to a previously small issue. Now don’t take this the wrong way… Your daughters are just as susceptible to a sexual attack in a public restroom as they were before. If a man wanted to walk into a women’s restroom, all he has to do is walk in. It’s not that hard.

          -Brandon

          Reply

  8. Pat

    Ok…I’m just not sure what to think. So it sounds like the men can use the womens bathroom and the women can use the mens bathroom. So does this mean any man can go in the woman’s bathroom whether they are transgenders or not and vice versa? I’m worried about the pervert who will go in the woman’s bathroom and sneak the pictures and maybe worse. So can any man go into the woman’s bathroom? We had a transgender woman who was a man at work and she used the woman’s bathroom which was ok with me…not so much with the other workers. But what if a man just decided he wanted to go in the woman’s bathroom? Is that ok? Just a “little” confused. Just can’t see how this is going to work….

    Reply

    1. Laura

      Hi Pat,
      I appreciate your sincere questions, and your efforts to understand the situation more fully. Thank you.
      Your question gets to the root of American societal values. Liberty for individuals in tension with prevention of harm. The more we have of one, the harder it is to have the other. On this issue, I land on the side of liberty. I believe that people who do not fit society’s VERY strict definitions of masculine and feminine gender have the RIGHT to exist safely in public, including the right to relieve their bladders in public restrooms. Trans women (biologically male people who identify as female) suffer from more violence (per capita) than almost every other demographic, especially trans women of color. Under restroom restrictions, they would be forced to use public men’s restrooms, where they are proven to be less safe. These humans deserve the right to safety in public space, just as the rest of us do. There will always be people who want to do people harm, but I am of the firm belief that they are in far fewer numbers than those who just want to go about their daily lives not doing or receiving harm. This article provides an argument for not using the protection of women as a justification for restricting trans people from using public restrooms: http://www.rolereboot.org/culture-and-politics/details/2016-04-stop-using-womens-safety-justify-transphobia/
      Right now, there is nothing stopping any person from entering any restroom (whether their motive is peeing or something sinister), just as there is nothing stopping someone from pick-pocketing you. Laws do not have the power to prevent people from causing harm. They only provide a framework of consequences, both physical and mental, that we hope cause those with harmful intent to hesitate to cause harm.
      I recently watched a disturbing video of a woman, who was stereotypically dressed as a man, being forcibly removed from a public women’s restroom by three large male police officers. What was more traumatic to the women in that restroom? A small person who wore stereotypical male clothing? Or three large men using force to remove someone who didn’t fit someone’s idea of “normal”?
      We are at a cultural crossroads when it comes to gender and use of public space. The more we learn about biological sex and gender, the more complex it is. It is not as simple as male and female. Places like Starbucks, who have single occupancy, locking, handicap accessible restrooms will be the future of our public restroom infrastructure. It will take time, resources, and advocacy to get there. However, investing in that model as a society will address personal privacy and safety, accessibility, parental equity (such as a father needing to take a young daughter to the restroom), and gender equality.

      Reply

      1. Pat

        Hi Laura,
        I don’t disagree with what you are saying. I have no problem with a transgender woman in my bathroom. We already had a transgender using the woman’s bathroom where I worked. It just sounds like any man can use a woman’s bathroom. There has already been some nut who went in the women’s locker room and changed clothes and he was not transgender. I’m just thinking this is not going to work. We used to camp at a campground that had showers lined up with private access doors. Everyone used these and there were no men or women showers. A great idea that took care of who used which one. A great idea for new bathrooms….just a thought.

        Reply

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  9. Vicki Swinehart

    If it is so innocent why would the leader of the the bathroom bill be a convicted sex offender, someone that lured young boys from his church to his home to show them pornography and more. Sick, mentally ill and should be viewed as such. I have known wonderful transgendered men and I would not let them alone in a bathroom with my granddaughters, nor would I let a nontransgendered man in the bathroom with my granddaughters. Our government should quit spending money on what bugs do in the dark and put a bathroom in every school so children that are uncomfortable in the boys or girls bathroom can pee without stress. Target has money, if it is an issue spend $5000 and put in a bathroom so ALL your customers are comfortable. I’m in favor of Target removing one row of sugary dyed junk food that is really damaging our children and putting in a bathroom for people that for whatever reason want to pee in private.

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  10. Jenny

    I was just talking with my husband about this yesterday. This has probably been going on for years and we would never know that the lady (or male if it is a men’s restroom) that just walked into the bathroom is really a man/woman, but now that it is forefront in the media we are all terrified. I do understand the fear that people are feeling though since social media and news outlets have made this such a huge front page worthy deal it does give crazies the opportunity to do harm, but I really feel if they really wanted too they probably would of anyway. For me if I am that uncomfortable going to the bathroom at any store, restaurant or public place in general I will just seek out a family restroom so I can pee all by my lonesome 😉 And you are absolutely right most children go to the bathroom with their parents at least mine did til he was old enough to either fight someone off or scream loud enough that I could hear him while I was standing outside of the restroom.

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    1. Brandon W

      “This has probably been going on for years and we would never know that the lady (or male if it is a men’s restroom) that just walked into the bathroom is really a man/woman, but now that it is forefront in the media we are all terrified.”

      This is how American political campaigns and media outlets work.

      I find the same thing happening with the issue of terrorism. In fact, since 2000 more toddlers have killed people in America than terrorists have. However, media outlets and politicians have dwelled on the issue of terrorism which has struck fear into people, an amount of fear that should not be devoted to this issue.
      Now what.. should I campaign against toddlers and strike a “war on toddlers?”

      American media is quite ridiculous, and we need to check what we fear as a people and focus on issues that deserve to be focused on. That’s all I am trying to say. (I fully agree with your post).

      -Brandon

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  11. amanda

    My problem is stores adding urinals to the ladies room. Sexual and Domestic Assualt vitims don’t wanna walk in to a ladies room to see a guy standing there pissing in a urinal. It makes them feel scared and unsafe. Its PTSD they can’t help it.

    My daughter (for example) is 5 and is terrified of men. Not sure why but she gets scared around guys. So if we walk in a bathroom and there is a guy standing and peeing in a urinal, is that okay that Alyssa is now terrified to use the bathroom? Or any other child that might have issues with men or was an assualt victim?

    So should transgender males be allowed in a female restrooms? YES as long as they don’t look like a male (facial hair) dressed like a lady and use a regular toilet in a stall like the lady they claim they are.

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  12. Ned Brisco

    All you suburban soccer moms are a hoot. You are so worried about “a man dressed as a woman going into a woman’s room.” You should be more worried about the congressman in the men’s room who will proposition you, or the parish priest who will sexually abuse your altar boy son, or the coach who will abuse your child, or the baby sitter who will abuse your kids, or any of a thousand other situations that actually happen everyday.

    What about that former congressman who was just sentenced to prison for sexually abusing young boys? That’s as real as it gets, not some imaginary scenario drummed up by the media.

    For the record, a transgendered person who identifies as ‘female’ is for all intent, a female, not a ‘man dressed as a woman’ (that would be a cross dresser. Funny, but people used to love Milton Berle dressed as a woman, or the Monty Python guys). A transgendered person who identifies as ‘female’ is a woman. Simple as that. They may not have ‘lady bits’ in their pants, but they are still a woman. The same thing goes for a man who is transgendered: they are a man.

    As the parent of a transgender child, I have to say that we knew from a very early age that he identified as male. And we supported it because it seemed right and natural. He’s grown up to be a fantastic son and we couldn’t be more proud of him. But as an adult now, he fears going to the restroom because of people like you, who are all about getting into his pants to make sure he’s a ‘real man’ before he can just pee like everyone else. He’s not interested in you, or your kids. HE JUST WANTS TO PEE! He has a girlfriend. He has a normal life. He’s in college and is a leader on campus, taking time to fight for various social causes, not just his own. And get this, he just wants to live his life like the rest of us!!!

    Now my son has a beard, short hair, and muscles. He does not have a penis. So, what would all you soccer moms think if he came into the ladies room to pee while you were in there with your little girl? Think about it for a minute and answer truthfully: would you want him in there just because he was born with a female body and still has ‘lady parts’ down there? Or would you freak out and run screaming to the store manager that “there’s a man in the women’s room”?

    My son shouldn’t have to fear going into a public restroom just because some soccer dad/mom is not sure if he has a penis or not. It’s 2016, get your head out of other people’s pants and mind your own business! Just remember, that doctor/policeman/firefighter/teacher/scientist/musician/etc. that has affected your, or your children’s life, in a positive way, just may be transgendered. Even your own child may turn out to be transgendered. Think about it.

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