Looking at family photos people post at this time of year and thinking about how we tend to believe the facades we see in the images instead of realizing that often much more lies behind the smiling faces and manufactured poses. We tend to ascribe happy, cozy narratives to other families’ images without considering the secrets, darkness, trauma, and pain that those images can never reveal…pain and rejection and heartache and histories that we might know personally but don’t see… Read more »

[Edited 4/23/16 to add a note from a friend who is the mom of a transgendered child: “Just by way of education, I would like to share with you that “transgenders” and “transgendered” are terms that the community doesn’t use. In the same way autistic kids wouldn’t be called ‘autistics’ or people with Down Syndrome wouldn’t be ‘Down Syndromed.’ For trans people it feels like they are diminished to and defined by that one aspect of who they are. Trans… Read more »

Nearly a year ago, and with much trepidation, I posted about my journey to my firstborn child. It clearly resonated with many, many people. I received emails, comments, and messages from hundreds and hundreds of people (mostly young women, devastated and afraid) around the world. The most particularly humbling and rewarding one for me personally was an email from a young woman in Mexico, pregnant, devastated, and afraid. She was planning to have an abortion, but after reading my own… Read more »

Update 1/14/15: After the popularity of this original post, I wrote a follow-up, specifically for those who are married and parenting in the trenches of trauma. If you find this original post beneficial, you will probably want to read the follow-up as well. You can find that by clicking HERE. Blessings, Prayer, and Much Solidarity, heidi   Update 1/4/17: A reminder that this post is for ADOPTIVE PARENTS in the trenches. If you are wanting to lecture, chastise, or empty… Read more »